Handling the `Thief' in your Child
Some useful tips for parents whose children indulge in stealing
PARENTING COLUMN
You should teach your child about the legal reactions that they might face due to stealing. They should be aware that they can get into serious trouble because of stealing
No one would like their child to steal or pick up the habit of stealing. It is likely for a parent to be alarmed and concerned if their child steals anything. Whether it is a sweet stolen by a kindergartener, a stationary object by a 7-year-old from the nearby shop or a pair of headphones by a 14-year-old, knowing that your child has stolen is never easy and upsetting. On facing such a scenario, a parent might not know the appropriate measure that they need to take to stop their child from continuing stealing.
These incidents, although not to common, can be really difficult to get rid of if it becomes a habit of your child. It is very likely, that as your child grows up from a kid to a teen and explores adolescence, they may acquire the urge to steal. The ideal reaction for a parent would be to address the matter in which they can teach that stealing is wrong and prevent it from becoming a habit.
Measures to be taken:
Give more importance to honesty
Frequent conversations regarding honesty should be carried on in family gatherings. This will help in developing trust and prevent them from stealing. Children should also be made aware that breaking the trust will result in limitation of their freedom.
When your child speaks the truth about a misdeed, it is necessary to give them less punishment for the misdeed and more praise for their honesty.
Also stealing should be reacted to as a breach of a trust and the children should be put in charge of rebuilding that broken trust.
Teach your child to respect other's property
You should teach your child about the legal reactions that they might face due to stealing. They should be aware that they can get into serious trouble because of stealing.
To inculcate a sense of respect for property, what you can do is teach your child ownership by making them responsible for their own belongings. You can talk about the importance of treating toys gently or set rules for borrowing and lending items. Try to inculcate the sense of responsibility and care towards borrowed items.
Ensure that stolen goods are returned
When you catch your child with stolen items, insist that they return the stolen items and apologize to the victims. It is important that your child is held accountable for the stolen items and face the consequences for their actions.
Establish consequences
Ensuring consequences for situations where your child steals is very important. Try to connect the consequence to the goods that they stole so that whenever the idea of stealing develops in their mind, they immediately recall the consequence.
An effective consequence can be is taking away certain privileges. For example, reducing the time for TV as a result for stealing can be a good consequence. So every time they would have the urge to steal they would be able to connect it to the possible consequence and thus avoid the action.
Problem –solving activities
Training your child to face their problems by themselves and find solutions for it will develop them to tackle their challenges themselves. It is also important to prevent your child from facing situations where they are tempted. For example, if your child recently shoplifted, it is advisable that they are not allowed to go to shops unsupervised for a certain period of time. Help them to improve their self-control skills. If your child brings items from friend outings and gatherings, let them earn your trust before they are allowed to go out again.
When should you seek professional help?
Stealing can lead an individual to face severe social, legal and emotional consequences. This can hamper their professional and personal life. Thus, if discipline strategies do not work to curb the urge or the habit of stealing, it is advisable to seek professional help. As a parent you can approach a professional counsellor who can identify the causes which make your child steal.
Also Read: The Anatomy of Truth: In conversation with Senior Advocate Anil Kumar Bhattacharya
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